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Cap Sha: Playing The Great Bridge Game, Part 1

27 Jan 2020

Cap Sha is a name of bridge card game. Cap Sha is Chinese language for thirteen in English. This game...

A General Guide to Wagering on the 5th Inning in Baseball

4 Jan 2020

As America's national pastime baseball captures the minds of millions each year. It is a truly global sport enjoyed in...

Tips to choose VPN for personal use

15 Mar 2020

If you need a VPN for your home then you need to think about choosing the right kind for your...

10 Best Gadgets For Your Next Road Trip

7 Mar 2020

As much fun as road trips are, they can leave you feeling disconnected. If you're anything like me, you're used...

DIY: Build Your Own Mission Inspired Bench

Earl | March 17, 2020March 25, 2020

Mission- style furniture is expensive compared to other styles. Solid oak is used in the construction with distinctive details. The furniture is not painted; the grain is allowed to show. Cushions for the furniture are made out of heavy fabric, usually denim or leather.

This bench is inspired by the design and the details given match the style. The bench itself does not have to be made from oak wood. Any wood can be used and stained to mimic oak. If painting the piece is desired, go ahead.

This article assumes the builder has knowledge of woodworking skills and some skills working with fabric. Bartering with woodworking or sewing friends is always a good way to share plans and help each other. PA home builders will have expertise in woodworking for the construction of the benches. The size and shape of the benches will provide attractive look to the garden area.

The “sand as you go” method works well with all furniture. Always measure before cutting pieces even when plans are given. The kerf on saw blades can vary from manufacturer to manufacturer. If a well- worn measuring tape is off, even by an eighth of an inch, it can affect the finished piece. Wherever the term “approximately” is used, measure first.

The legs are attached with the 2 ½” screws, 1 ½” screws are used for all other a

You Will Need:

One sheet ¾” furniture grade plywood
One 3- by- 3- by- 6′ · One 3- by- 3- by- 4′
Two 1- by- 6- by- 8′ · Two or three furring strips, 8′ long
Fabric to cover bench and cushion

Cutting List for Parts:

One piece ¾” plywood cut 18″ by 54″
Two pieces each 2″ by 2″ with ½” groove cut in center ½” deep, approximately 9″ long
Two pieces each 2″ by approximately 45″ long
Two pieces each 2″ by approximately 9″ long
Ten pieces each ½” by 1″ by
Two pieces each 4″ by approximately 45″ long
Two pieces each 4″ by approximately 9″ long

Tools and Items Needed:

Router or dado blades for table saw
Table saw · Jig Saw · Measuring tools and markers
Construction adhesive · Upholstery stapler · Two or three inch foam cut 18″ by 54″
Sandpaper in varying grits · Stain or primer and paint · Angle corner braces, 1″ and screws
Wood screws, #10, 1 ½” long and 2″ long · Pocket screw jig · Drill and bits

Step One:

Begin with the bench seat. Turn it over to the rough side and mark two inches in on all sides.

Place a leg against each corner inside the marks and attach with wood screws. Using construction adhesive to hold the legs in place before using the screws is acceptable. Reinforce the legs with angle pieces after the side trim is installed.

Step Two:

First, make the bottom bracing from the pieces marked C). Rip the pieces from the 1- by- 6. Before cutting to length, measure the distance between the front legs on the long side and the back legs. The distances should match. Cut the pieces to length and attach with pocket screws on the inside of the piece.

The pieces should be two inches up from the floor.

Step Three:

Measure the distance between the legs on the short side. Take piece B), and cut two to length. Attach with pocket screws on the inside of the piece. The groove side should point up. Ensure the bottom of the piece lines up with the bottom of the bracing, two inches up from the floor.

Step Four:

Measure the distance between the legs at the top on the long and short sides. Cut pieces F) and G) to length. Attach to the legs using pocket screws along the insides.

If desired, cut a groove along the bottom of the top piece beginning two inches from each side and 1″ deep at its height. This is a detail often found in Mission- style furniture.

Step Five:

Measure from the inside of the groove in piece B) to the top of the inside trim. Cut the ten slats to length and position 5 evenly on each side. Screw in place on the top and attach with construction adhesive in the bottom.

Step Six:

Cut the fabric so it fits over the top by 4″ all the way around. Staple underneath and trim the ends neatly.

Cover the cushion with fabric and place on top.

Alternatively, the cushion can be placed on top and the fabric stapled over it and under the bench top. Decorative trim can be attached around the bottom edge.

Paint or seal the wood according to your décor plans.

Notes:

Use four commercially made table or bench legs for this bench to match the décor.
Use reclaimed 4- by- 4 lumber for everything but the bench seat. Cover the seat with fabric and lay the cushion on top.
Place two benches together for a quick child’s bed. The cushions can be used as a mattress or use an air mattress.
Make the bench longer and place two together for an impromptu bed. Use cushions or an air mattress.
If using commercially produced legs or reclaimed wood with different dimensions, measure first before cutting any pieces.
Use outdoor fabrics and wood sealer if using the bench on a patio.
Alter the measurements to make a coffee table, side tables and more.

Guests will be impressed by your design choice and will assume you purchased it instead of built it. Build a few for anniversary, housewarming or other occasion gifts.

Enhance Your Breasts Without Surgery

Earl | March 16, 2020March 31, 2020

Large breasts seem to be everywhere. They are stuffed into low-cut shirts on our favorite television shows, plastered across magazine covers in the grocery aisle, and blown up even larger on the silver screen. Although the media bombards us with images of large breasts, many real women have much less cleavage to flaunt. While small-breasted women have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, some yearn for change. They may not need an enlargement of two whole cup sizes. In fact, they may just want a bit more fullness in the chest. For some, jumping to breast augmentation surgery is the answer. Surgery, however, is not only difficult to recover from but is also fairly risky. Before you decide to undergo breast augmentation surgery, there are some natural solutions you should try first.

Massage

The message is a technique that can be used to not only enhance breast size but also improve overall breast health. This includes increasing breast size, fullness, and the appearance of skin. Some women prefer to apply breast massage to themself, while others would rather pay a trained professional. Unfortunately, many professionals refuse to perform massage on such a private part of the body for personal and lawsuit reasons. This is why many women must learn the technique themselves. Before women begin breast massage, it is important to do research and talk to experienced professionals. If done incorrectly, it can cause permanent damage. Breast massage requires firm, but gentle pressure and plenty of lubricants.

Supplements

The hormone that begins breast growth in young girls is called estrogen. The hormone that causes breasts to swell during the menstrual cycle is called progesterone. Since both hormones create breast growth, women who want larger breasts can take these two hormones as a supplement. Taking it down a notch, some women take birth control pills which are estrogen-based to enhance breast size. Although this method does work, supplements give more permanent results than birth control pills. On the other hand, there are supplements that men can use in order to get rid of growth of man breasts. If you want to know how to get rid of gyno? Then this link here will guide you throughout the process which is completely safe and affordable.

Herbs

Another way to increase breast size naturally is with the use of herbs. Herbs such as wild yam, fennel seed, kelp, fenugreek, and Dong Quai have been known to increase breast size for centuries. They contain something called phytoestrogens. These phytoestrogen compounds bind to the mammary gland receptors and stimulate new growth. Middle Eastern women used these herbs to enhance chest size in their harems hundreds of years ago.

The shape of a woman is beautiful. No two women have the same frame. Some women have ample breasts while others have smaller breasts. While every woman should love her body, as are some women just want a bit more without the risks of surgery. Surgery does not always have to be the answer. As a matter of fact, some women end up regretting breast augmentation surgery after they have undergone the procedure. Instead of taking such drastic measures, there are several natural approaches to breast augmentation. It is best to begin with the natural breast enlargement methods before moving on to more severe measures.

Tips to choose VPN for personal use

Earl | March 15, 2020March 16, 2020

If you need a VPN for your home then you need to think about choosing the right kind for your online privacy issues. One should have a clear idea about the purpose of using a VPN before start choosing. There are immense number of major VPNs available such torguard. They usually offer varieties of subscription plans as well. You should also consider their payment options that often include coupons or promo codes such as, torguard promo. The following tips might help in choosing the right VPN for your personal use.

What are your needs?

The first and foremost thing you should have is the reason or purpose of using a VPN. There are plenty of VPNs with various features available in the market. You need to know the features which you are looking for. You might need it for watching movies online or for office related work or for sharing confidential information which might need top privacy. Therefore you need to pay attention to your purpose before purchasing a VPN service.

Does the VPN support your devices?

The next point which you need to keep in mind is that whether the VPN which you are thinking of using supports the devices at your home. Since there are plenty of VPNs, hence their compatibility with various devices might also vary accordingly. Thus one might need a VPN that would be compatible with the devices available at home.

How good is their customer service?

One should not skip the point of customer service at all. Technical issues might arise at any point regarding VPN. Without the support of the technical support team, you might not be able to resolve those issues. Therefore you need to keep in mind about how reputed is the company regarding their customer service. You should consider the prices and features of VPN. However, expensive VPNs do not necessarily mean that they have best service. Hence you need to think about this as well.

10 Best Gadgets For Your Next Road Trip

Earl | March 7, 2020March 15, 2020

As much fun as road trips are, they can leave you feeling disconnected. If you’re anything like me, you’re used to checking your e-mail every day and reading news stories via your Internet browser, some of which isn’t possible on a road trip unless you bring along a few handy gadgets. Plus, if you find yourself in a remote hotel with no cable television, a few electronic gadgets will help pass the time until you can hit the road again. This is why it is a really good idea that you keep yourself secured with these amazing gadgets that were compiled from the list of the best road trip gadgets that were listed on https://www.dfydaily.com/.

1- Laptop Computer

This one has become so common as to be obvious, but it’s easy to forget how much you rely on the Internet (not to mention your saved files) when you’re excitedly anticipating our road trip. Remember to bring along your power cord, wireless mouse, and any other gadgets that you’ll need to use with your laptop on the road.

2- Cell Phone

Whether you use the latest smartphone or a standard one, this is one of the best gadgets just for safety reasons, if not for convenience. You might need your cell phone if you find yourself stranded by the side of the road or if you need to meet up with a friend on the state line. Just don’t forget the charger (a car charger works well).

3- GPS Receiver

Wondering if you’ll make it to the closest gas station? Looking for a particular restaurant in a strange city? GPS receivers make finding your way around a road trip much easier, and can also increase your safety as long as you research your routes before you leave home.

4- Key finder

I bought one of these several years ago and it’s saved me a lot of stress and time. A key finder is one of the best gadgets for your next road trip because you don’t have to worry about searching for your car keys in a disheveled hotel room, or in a dark field when they’ve fallen out of your pocket. If you lose your keys, just click the key finder button and it will make noise and flashlights to help you find your lost keys.

5- Camera

Your cell phone might be equipped with a camera, but a separate camera will make your road trips more memorable. You’ll be able to take more pictures so your memories of the trip will stay fresh. Just don’t forget a spare battery and enough memory cards to last the whole trip.

6- Video Camera

These days, you don’t have to worry about gadgets taking up too much storage space on road trips. You can find mini-video cameras that will fit in your pocket or the smallest compartment in your suitcase, and you’ll be able to preserve more than just still pictures.

7- Noise-Canceling Headphones

Road trips aren’t as much fun when you’re travel-mate snores in the sleeping bag next to yours. Noise-canceling headphones provide a good night’s sleep and the option to cut out all distractions regardless of where you are.

8- Media Players

You can’t have a road trip without tunes! I always keep my media player loaded with plenty of songs, and I stock up before road trips so I’m never without soothing music. You can listen to no matter where in the world you travel, and you don’t have to rely on fuzzy radio stations or fragile CDs.

9- iPad

If you don’t feel like traveling with your laptop, or if your iPad is equipped with lots of essential apps, don’t leave on a road trip without it. Convenient apps from the Weather Channel, newspapers, and other media outlets will keep you connected regardless of where the interstate takes you.

10- Tire Pressure Gauge

The best gadgets to take on road trips are those that keep you safe as well as entertained. Don’t neglect the good-old classics in favor of shiny new toys. Tire pressure gauges are extremely handy on road trips when you can’t find a service station, and they’ll ensure your wheels maintain sufficient pressure to keep you mobile.

How To Strengthen The Brew Of The Mr. Coffee Iced Tea Maker

Earl | March 6, 2020March 19, 2020

If you love iced tea and prefer it to the hot version, the Mr. Coffee Iced Tea Maker can be an enormous time saver. Just add the ice, the bags, and the water, and this machine takes all the work out of brewing and then icing a pot of tea. However, some may find that the strength of the Mr. Coffee Iced Tea Maker’s brew is not as potent as iced tea made by hand. Here are some tips to overcome this problem and strengthen your brew.

How to Strengthen the Brew of Iced Tea Makers: Filters

Mr. Coffee recommends using a coffee filters in the brewing basket of the iced tea maker for all loose teas. I find that when I carry this advice over to the bags, the water takes longer to filter through the machine, and thus causing the brew to strengthen. I have doubled up on filters and found the effects to be even more enhanced. Some connoisseurs may eschew this advice for fear of compromising the integrity of the brew with bleached filters, but for me, filters definitely work. They are inexpensive, costing eighty six cents a pack at Target.

How to Strengthen the Brew of Iced Tea Makers: Less Ice

If you feel that the water passes too quickly through the brewing basket into the pitcher, then try initially adding less ice. This way, you can stick the pitcher in the refrigerator after brewing to cool it down without diluted the batch with superfluous ice. This only works if you are not in a hurry and can afford to wait half an hour for the iced tea to lose its heat.

How to Strengthen the Brew of Iced Tea Makers: Align the Bags

Make sure the bags are placed in a manner that allows the water from the Mr. Coffee Iced Tea Maker to trickle among them when it is released into the brewing basket. If you simply toss the bags in the basket without paying attention to which side they land, then they could potentially be missed by the hot water’s path. You should be safe stacking the bags close to the bottom of the brewing basket. Using a single cup coffee maker no pods, you can also strengthen the brew. Some coffee makers offer you some modern features.

How to Strengthen the Brew of Iced Tea Makers: Stronger Tea

If you are a person who drinks green teas, consider switching to the black variety when using the Mr. Coffee machine. Your brew will contain more caffeine than green, white, red, or herbal. Increasing the number of bags may not strengthen the brew as much because of the limited amount of water that passes through the brew basket on the way to the pitcher. Use these tips, and your brew is sure to strengthen significantly.

A Review of Dragons Wild by Robert Asprin

Earl | February 7, 2020March 9, 2020

Dragons Wild is an engaging modern day fantasy mostly set in New Orleans, LA. It is also, in Robert Asprin’s own words, “…a radical departure from my usual style and subject matter,” (While not as punny as the Myth Adventure series Dragons Wild offers a few things that are necessarily lacking in books that do not take place in a real life setting.

Asprin spent nearly as much time describing and opining, through his characters, about his own town and setting, New Orleans, as he did explicating the plot and developing the mythos around the book. Each page has something to grip the attention and bring the reader closer into the world of its characters. I highly recommend this book if you enjoy modern fantasy, deep setting development, and would like a literary tour of New Orleans through the eyes of a gambling Dragon.

Plot spoiler alert. The book begins by introducing Griffen McCandles who has just graduated from the University of Michigan. Griffen is trying to secure a cushy job from his Uncle, but instead finds out that he is the member of a race of powerful shape shifting beings called dragons. He does not spend the rest of the book in scales breathing fire, though when he does transform much of what changes follows those lines. When Griffen finds out that he and his sister, Valerie, are dragons he refuses to believe the news until it is verified by several seemingly unconnected sources. After a few sources have come forward and Griffen meets with his sister to explain the situation to her he still does not believe what he has been told.

She points out that regardless of whether he believes it or not others believe and they will act on their belief. She convinces him that they must respond regardless of their own beliefs. After meeting with an old college poker buddy, named Bones, Griffen decides to take Bones up on his offer and head to New Orleans to take charge of a gambling operation there. Valerie comes along and, as an extremely physically fit person, acts as Griffen’s bodyguard.

The novel continues to explore gambling, politics within the dragon’s power structure, and the dangers that spring up from the various new complexities in the duo’s lives. These threats range from angry pot dealers, to the George, a dragon assassin hired to kill Griffen and who seems capable of ending his life whenever he chooses. Dragon’s Wild has a wonderfully realistic feel for a fantasy novel, and even the flow of the novel seems realistic in its many intertwining plot lines that vie for the main spotlight.

Cap Sha: Playing The Great Bridge Game, Part 1

Earl | January 27, 2020March 9, 2020

Cap Sha is a name of bridge card game. Cap Sha is Chinese language for thirteen in English. This game is very popular and usually played by adults and teenagers for fun and sometimes for gambling. But, since it is very popular, people made their own rules and applied them to the game. So there are so many versions of playing Cap Sha. But from all of those versions, the basic is just the same.

This game is a four-player game. To play it, we, of course need a deck of bridge card. First we need to remove the joker first since it won’t be used in this game. Then all the cards will be distributed and divided equally to each player. So each player will have thirteen cards on their hand.

In this game, we have to know some combinations of the cards. These combinations are similar as when we play poker. These combinations are organized from the lowest value to the highest one.

Single: This is a one-card combination.
Pair: This is a two-card combination. We need to have the same digit in those two cards to form a “pair” combination.
Tris: This one is a three-card combination. We need to have the same digits in those three cards to form a “Tris” combination.
Straight: This is a five-card combination. The cards have to be put in order (consecutively). The symbols don’t have to be the same. However if they are the same, another combination will be formed.
Flush: This is also a five-card combination. To form it, we need five cards with the same symbol.
Full House: This combination is the combination of a pair and a tris. So it will consist of five cards.
Straight Flush: This one is similar Straight. But the symbols must be the same.
Four-of-a-kind: This is a four-card combination. The cards must have the same number. In cap sha this combination will be formed into five-card combination. So we need to add one more card into it. You can put any card you like.
Royal Straight Flush: This is the development of Straight Flush. However this combination can only be formed with 10,J,Q,K,A of spade.
Cap-Sha: This combination is the biggest among those all. However this one is also the rarest and the mot difficult combination to be formed. This combination has to have all digits of a bridge card (from Ace to King).

Types of Cap Sha

The Forming Cap Sha Game

In this type of Cap Sha game, the players will have to form their cards into three levels. The first level consists of five cards. The second level also consists of five cards. But the top level only consists of three cards. Player can put the combinations they’d like to form in each level. However there is a rule. The lower level may not have better combination than the higher level. If the player has a card combination that only use less than five or three cards, they have to fill it with any cards they like. But if they can’t form any combination in a level, they can put any cards they want. And this combination is called High Card. In this game player may have a combination called two pairs. They can have two pairs in one level. In this game, the highest value is Ace.

The Throwing Cap Sha Game

In this type of Cap Sha game, the players may have any combination in their hands, then they have to let each combination goes out every turn they get. But when they don’t have that type of combination, they can pass. So he/she will lose his turn until the end of that combination. The first move will be three of diamond. Then it continues to the player beside him/her whether it is left or right. That player will have to put a card higher than the cards previously thrown out. This type of Cap Sha has many different rules with it. The rules can vary according to the players. One common rule in this game is “Two is the highest value among the other. It is even higher than Ace.”

*More rules of it will be described in the second article.

Winners

The winner of The Forming Cap Sha Game is the one that has the highest value of combination among the other. They may only win in two levels and they are still called winners because the other player only wins in one level.

The winner of The Throwing Cap Sha Game is the one that finish the cards in their hands fastest. They will have to put some tactics if they want to win. However in this game there so many special rules. One of them is if you throw 2s out and the other player has four-of-a-kind, the one that throws two is the loser and the one who throws four of a kind is the winner. This special rule is rarely used by people because only some of them know this rule.

Candy Alternatives and Healthy Treats for Halloween

Earl | January 24, 2020March 9, 2020

Even though Halloween is a time to indulge in sugary treats you can help keep your neighborhood on track by offering some sugary substitutes. The children on the neighborhood may not like this too much, but if you do it right they may see your house as a fun, hip house to visit each Halloween.

You can avoid candy altogether by offering fun toys. Think about giving out items you would give in a grab bag. It may cost a little more but the payoff in the long run is better. Anything glow in the dark is fun for children. Glow sticks, glow necklaces, or fun flashlight toys are great ideas to give away. If the items seem interesting and fun, the children will forget all about the lack of sugar at your door. You can get a lot for your money by shopping at the dollar store for items like this. Playing cards, travel sized games, toy cars, or make up sets are all good ideas. Stay away from pencils, stickers, and cheap party favors. These remind kids of items they would get from school or teachers. This is their night and they want stuff they don’t normally get.

Your house will be a great stop this Halloween if you make your home inviting to the trick or treaters. Play spooky music and decorate your yard. Even dress up to answer the door. This will make the kids feel like they are wanted and will be more accepting of the non candy treats.

If you do want to give out food items this year you can stick to individually packaged healthy items. This can consist of the following items: 100 calorie packs, Nuts, raisins, chips, granola bars, pretzels, cheese and crackers, microwaveable popcorn, pumpkin or sunflower seeds, and dark chocolate (which has more anti oxidants than other chocolates).

A healthy Halloween seems like an oxymoron, and can be a big challenge. If you do it right the kids wont even miss the candy. If you are excited about the items you can giving out at your door this excitement will get passed on to the kids. It’s time to think like a child. If need be have different items for different age groups. Older kids might like goop in a can that makes fart noises (yes they make it), or whoopee cushions, while a young child who doesn’t know the value of money can get excited over a dollar bill. Its amazing what children will find fun and exciting, so channel your inner child and try not to be the “lame house” that gives out bad treats. Afterall… kids turn into teens, and you don’t want them to return the favor with eggs and shaving cream.

Best Rustic Paint Colors from Sherwin Williams

Earl | January 21, 2020March 9, 2020

Rustic cabin paint colors are some of my favorite paint colors in the world. Whether you live in a new condo in the city or a cabin in the woods you can use these great rustic cabin paint colors to bring the outside in, add some warmth in any room, and simply finish out the look of your rustic and warm home!

Many of these rustic cabin paint colors are rich and deep, so be prepared to prime you walls first with a tinted primer. The tinted primer will keep you from having to paint as many coats of the rich colored paints.

Still, you should expect to paint on at least two coats to get the rich look you want form thes rustic cabin paint colors.

Rustic Cabin Paint Colors #1: Hunter Green

Gecco Green from Sherwin Williams is one of my favorite rustic green paint colors. This rustic green paint color is a mix of Hunter green, army green, and natural greens found in the forest.

If you are painting an accent wall in a rustic cabin bedroom or dining room this simple and natural green color would be perfect. A lot of choosing a rustic cabin paint color is bringing the outside in. Look for green paint colors that have a hint of natural green in them.

You can also look for earth tone greens that have a hint of brown. Many rustic green paint colors are rich and deep, so be prepared to paint a few coats.

Rustic Cabin Paint Colors #2: Deep Rich Brown

Rich warm brown tree colors are a wonderful idea for painting a rustic cabin wall color. Brevity Brown and Canyon Clay from Sherwin Williams are two examples fo great rustic brown paint colors that really remind me of browns found I nature.

Brevity Brown reminds me of rich brown tree trunks. This is an ideal rustic cabin paint color for a family room, den, or even a movie room. Wood furniture in almost any stain will stand out beautiful on this war color.

For a more red clay look try the Canyon Clay color. This rustic brown paint color remind same of the red earth and soil found in the south. This rustic brown paint color is so warm an inviting and surprisingly light for a rustic brown paint color.

Rustic Cabin Paint Colors #3: Pine Yellow

I always think pine wood when I envision a rustic cabin in the woods. Warm yellow wood is such a natural l=element to find in any cabin. Brittlebush is one of my favorite warm yellow paint colors that really reminds me of pine wood that has been freshly cut.

Brittlebush is a great yellow color for any rustic cabin look, but it is rather bold. You may find using Brittlebush as an accent wall in a rustic cabinet bathroom or even an entry way will work best.

Be sure to use other earth tones on other walls you can see when you look at the wall painter with Brittlebush. You can also use Brittlebush as a rustic cabin paint color accent on wood trim, furniture, and wood boxes.

Attacked by a Bissell Vacuum: Did You Know They Come with a Free Concussion?

Earl | January 18, 2020March 9, 2020

I attribute my long and healthy life to having been born with a keen nose for impending peril. I sometimes refer to it as the OSHA gene. When I was in grammar school I would lie in bed at night at and rehearse my emergency plan over and over again in case the school bus crashed on the way to school. The bus ride was all of a mile from my house.

When I was about eight my mother tried to convince me to get into a car with a man who was trying to find his way to a specific street on the other side of the inlet where we lived. Unclear as to whether the man was a stranger, I instead opted to run in front of the lost man’s car for a half mile until I got him, and me, safely to his destination.

Even my siblings benefitted from my hypervigilence – I quickly summoned my mother when my younger sister stuck a cut-off toaster plug into a wall socket and lit up like a lightbulb, and I always immediately picked up the glowing hot spent sparklers that were dropped in the grass on the 4th of July. Amusement park rides – are you kidding? Those things were dangerous. And, like any genetically paranoid kid, I screamed bloody murder at the local five and dime when my parents tried to set me on the lap of a creepy-looking bearded guy everyone called Santa Claus.

You may recall a television commercial a few years back where a little girl points to a lamb lawn ornament on her lawn and, as she’s walking to her front door, sizes up the statue, realizes the hazardous tripping potential, and calmly commands, “Have this removed.”

I was the prototype for that little girl.

I have an inherent ability to spot an accident about to happen a mile away, even while wearing safety goggles.

So imagine my surprise when my vacuum cleaner konked me in the back of the head the other day nearly knocking me out cold.

I didn’t see that one coming!

If an electric sweeper can sneak up on a consummate safety freak and knock her silly, I had to wonder how many other innocent vacuumers have been the victims of their potentially lethal Bissells.

Part of the problem is that I was somewhat new to this brand of vacuum. I was forced to purchase a new sweeper several weeks ago after irreversibly clogging up my Hoover upright while vacuuming leaves off the deck. “You’re not supposed to vacuum up leaves with that!” my brother-in-law teased, whose impending visit was the reason I was vacuuming in the first place. But I was happy to trade in my old Hoover whose cord was frayed and attachment door cracked, and I never liked the cumbersome dirt cup anyway. So I spent a good 15 minutes comparing vacuum cleaners at the department store and decided on the Bissell upright whose innovate design allows you to remove the canister from the main part of vacuum cleaner, making it conveniently portable to do stairways and ceilings. But the other not so innovative parts of the design are: a way-too-short attachment hose which will pull the vacuum cleaner over with the slightest yank, and, if you happen to be on your knees with your back to the machine chasing a dust ball, the slightly curved handle appears to be scientifically designed to drive the pointed tip of the handle into the back of your skull as if a bull’s eye had been painted on it.

Ouch baby, very ouch.

As a safety advocate, I was curious to see if I was the only one who had been sucker-punched my vacuum cleaner so I did an Internet search and found one source that claims in 1990 alone over 15,000 people were injured by their vacuum cleaners. There is a veritable epidemic of vacuum cleaner attacks on people in this country that is no doubt being covered up by the Bush administration.

According to my research most of the injuries appear to happen from people tripping over the cord or getting various body parts stuck in them. The ones I can write about here involve a guy getting his lip caught and a woman who got her thumb caught. A surprising number of people get injured when their vacuum cleaner falls on them while they are putting it away. (I think we can all agree — not a good idea to store a vacuum on an upper shelf.)

After hours of research, I finally came across a victim while reading the product review section on shopping.com who had also been unexpectedly bitch-slapped by her malevolent vacuum machine. She wrote: My biggest issue is (and thank goodness I’m not the court type) I have been hit on the head by this vacuum falling over while using the hose/tool attachment. I suffered a hit so hard that my head hurt for almost two weeks, and I had nerve tingling on my face for three days. These short hose- heavy suction vacuums should be built with a tip resistance in them. Needless to say I’m done with this vacuum.I feel her pain. In more ways than one. On the same day I suffered my own vac attack my sister called to brag that she had just purchased a new Dyson – the expensive designer machine that sits benignly in the middle of the room, far away from her noggin as she safely sucks up dirt throughout the house. “I’ve never loved vacuuming so much!” she gushed.

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